lussst.

I'm looking out the window and the sky is plain blue, no clouds spoiling it. I cried the first time i have in ages, and i feel shit. I don't care who reads this, it's not a sin to cry is it. Well i lied, i don't feel shit i just feel disappointed, with myself and others. But then i look back at the sky and i think; not the end of the world- hold your head high. why the sky made me think this i don't know, just made me think how beauty can be in the most ugly situations. I haven't quite found the beauty in this one yet but i'm sure it'll unveil soon enough. I need to get my head down and focus and spend time on my own to reflect y'know? I want to be my own friend, i need to be. I hate being at war with myself and others because it makes you think 'why bother with life' but then, i know why to bother in life, and it keeps me going. I need to grow up. So does everyone else, people need to stick their noses out of things and only get involved when they need to be involved. Thats all i'm saying, I'm off for a bath and then i'm going to do some work and have a hot chocolate in my favourite chair in the garden. Tonight i hope my smile gets the first plane home back from Timbuktu to face airport.