LAPD MAN.

Well, got told that i couldn't go out today as i need to pack and all that, i haven't even touched my case yet and i really can't be bothered...thing is i don't want to go now because last night the delightful news reporter said...'If you're going to spain be prepared, blah blah blah, bombs, blah blah, dead...blah' i can't remember much apart from stuff and people being bombed O.o i don't want to die!

Anyway, woke up and the grasshopper is still on my ceiling, i'm not scared, i just hate the thought of it falling off onto my face and euh.

Got a letter through the door from the police station today about my 'anti-social behaviour' I was a bit peed off because in the letter they made me sound like a raging alcoholic and they've even sent a leaflet with classes that me and my mum can go to, to help me get out of this awful drinking cycle i'm apparently in ;) harrr.

Nah i don't drink, all i had was a capful and now apparently i'm a reb.nooo. im like the least rebellious person alive.

Sex on the brain.

Today has been a very 'sexual' day i guess (: watched zack and miri make a porno, was so good, zack and miri did their part in the porno, but THEY HAD REAL SEX, the 'fucking' turned into 'love making' and then they lived happily ever after (: was sweet, Then just talked about it and how beccy was blates horny...;) Tonight i watched 'sex my big decision' with my mum, got the sex talk...mmm.

'i don't care when you have sex, it's going to happen etc.etc.'

I LIED, and told her that i was waiting until marriage- harhar. Only so i wouldn't get the whole lecture on how underage is not bad, but not as good as being legal, And so she'd trust me to be her little girl, all innocent- and not ask me questions, which yeah we have an open relationship but i don't think she'd honestly approve because if you're under 16 YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE IMPULSES-DURRR.

But yeah, why is everyone obsessed with virginity? or 'fucking' because it's not going to be like you imagine, all rough and 'UH UH AHHH' nah. You'll be lucky if you last 5 minutes (: so please men with dicks as penis' think of the women! which yeah is a big generalisation but seems as if 9/10 guys i know, are determined to fuck anything to boost their rep?

EAT.

WELL, what can i say, today has been thrilling. not. I've done jack all apart from tidy up! I feel so ill at the moment, constant headaches and now i can't eat like i used to...stupid holidays. mmm, i think what i need is an early night and some food inside me. :) I wrote a to-do list/shopping list and so :) tomorrow i'mgoing round banksy's but my mums DETERMINED to take me down to red dragon to get my smiley taken out...at first that was what i wanted but now i really can't be bothered, i'll do it in my own time! and it cost toomuch. ANOTHER thing that's annoying me is ugly betty...AH kimmy ! i just want to rip her eyesout, why do i get so involved xD

Happy campers.

Ah hello, HOLIDAY SOON.
(: ummm yes,

deeper than the ocean

Mai's party lastnight! VERY GOOD, we saw the proposal and i admit i cried! but on the behalf of every girl, you're bound to cry at romantic things in movies because you think 'if only' probably because guys are WHAAY to macho to do anything like that (; well it seems that way.

Chatted for hours about sex, guys, phases and all the typical 'gal stuff' and had some amazing deep conversations which was awesome :) Had food food food, watched saw and then slept like babies! amazing times :)

Today i'm having a lazy day and i'll tidy up my room, exactly one week until i go Abroad i'm well excited, BUG AND SEAL! and snorkelling! ah, nothing beats swimming in the ocean. :) well happeh!

bluebkahbdhbd

Why hello, haven't written in donks, so what's happened?

well, not much really broke up from school, just that really...i haven't really been out as of yet, and it's been like 3 days! well ive seen people but...haven't really gone far!

Today i went to brighton to get a piercing. BUT nobody would do the one i wanted...so then we went to worthing and tried our luck there, finally came across a place called flux and got my smiley pierced, when i got in there i was shitting my pants, i've never seen one of these piercings in life other than in photos so it was the thought of it not being done much that scared me! For me personally it hurt like hell, because it went through so slowly and when she was screwing the ball on ahhhh! But probably the best piercers i've seen (: they also have a little shop where you can buy stuff and yeah..

Got a new school bag :) apart from it's fred perry...first designer brand i've had but i'll customise it :) ummm. had some chilli ribs? i can't even remember :) but it was nice seeing my daddios, in the car we were talking about hash cakes and other weird and wonderful drugs, stupid stoner!

Guess what.

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE OF SWINE FLU, SO WHY DONT'CHA JUST COUGH ALL OVER EACH OTHER, LIKE SOME SORTA' INFECTION RIDDLED ORGY IN A TANK.


well as you can see i really don't fill this in anymore, nothing much has happened really, gave a lovely talk about how a wheelbarrow is like 'my' ex girlfriend, made people laugh which kinda' made me feel good, the best thing is the fact i wrote my own part of the script so it had never been heard before. ;) fresh material obv.
Went round tams last night, was really good, but as we'd been walking up southdowns and all that, WE WERE all knackered, therefor i kept falling asleep, yeah, and now more have seen my nipple/s :) i don't care though BEING NAKED FEELS GOOD. sometimes?
Anyway, today went to town and suzies which was good!, done nothing much really this week woop woop.
Last time at school next week too...then summer! HOLIDAYS PEOPLE, and building bridges with my dad, metaphorically of course (; and my birthday (: Bit gutted though as i miss ani' with asher because i'l be in spain but i doubt we'll remember, have nothing to say woop.

(L)

The wedding was so good, it was dead romantic. them two actually will last (: they have been together since T was 13 and chris was about 18, :) its sweet! we got into the church and chris was standing there as white as a ghost, and then me and james were mucking around and taking the mic out of the choir kids LOOL and believe me they were funny! and the organ player looked exactly like my brother which made it funnier. T came in and she looked damn right beautiful :) and then the service kicked off, the whole way through james kept making me laugh and it was so cringey as i didnt want to laugh when they were doing vows.

Then that was over, went to the afterparty IT WAS SO POSH waiters waiting on you and getting you whatever you want and blah!, so me and james went to explore the 'grounds' and he made me jump over all the barbed wire fences in a dress which was slightly interesting, and then after that we found all these odd statues in trees and ah it was so posh, then for the rest of that he just gave me piggybacks and was running me around the grass because it scares me big time :L to end off the night there was over 2000 pounds worth of fireworks which was insane (: but my cousin chris makes them as well, so it couldve cost a lot more :D it was amazing and yes! I think them two are going to last forever, theyve been through so much lalalala

:}

i got sent this, and i thought it was beautiful (:
the girl lyrics etc.

I wish I could do better by you,

Cause its what you deserve.

You sacrifice so much of your life,

In order for this to work.

While I'm off chasing my own dreams,

Sailing around the world,

Please know that I'm yours to keep,

My beautiful girl.

When you cry a piece of my heart dies,

Knowing that I may have been the cause,

If you were to leave,

fulfil someone else's dreams,

I think I might totally be lost.

You don't ask for no diamond rings,

No delicate string of pearls,

That's why I wrote this song to sing,

My beautiful girl.

my hero cries.

I'm oh so bored, i feel so ill, i have flu D: i was fine i thought all week, but it turns out the reason i've been so tired blah blah. so my mums been giving me flu pills, even though she dragged me to tesco earlier :L just typical it's before the holiday :'( so i'm going to spend the week in bed! BUT i have the wedding tomorrow,so ahhh! i don't know :( i feel like crying in pain EMOOO

JWBSHDB

i'm watching the news, i think it's about the taliban or something, it's awful. A man had just died along with many others, leaving his family behind- including a 15 month old son. I guess he died a hero, but he didn't? i can't explain myself, yeah they are heroes and extremely brave for even going on the front line, cause i know i wouldn't. But is fighting a really good way of making 'peace'?! it's always confused me, and it'll never be answered because well yeah! it just never will, emoness over.

On the good side of the news, scientists believe they have created sperm! WAHEY, so for all you men who can't have children can now maybe in the future, woop? but well, not quite yet :D

Anyway, yeah was really okay today, got to have an induction at millais gym- i suck so bad at using the bike thing, i was too short! and even the new pe woman said i was short, but shes shorter than me so she's a midget...and she knows my name?! weird. and yeah, nothing fantastic happened, had my last art lesson ever :D which is actually sad in some ways.

everday offers something new.

AHAH, i have optimism OOZING out me like a bitch. :) what can i say i'm happy! REALLY REALLY HAPPY! can't wait until new school term now, new start. My mum stuck my policetick' on my wall, because i stick everything on there, well before i did and it was covered, but it all had to go in a huge wine crate because we painted the house because we were selling up...but now we're not and it's effort to stick it all back up so gradually i'm building up a new collection :D wow, story of my life babes.

Tidied my little box room, i like to-do lists! they give me something to work for and plan, and the feeling when it's done IS SO NICE, i think i need to do more of these to-do's and find more along the way, saves me tapping at the laptop all day i guess :)

Right now i'm listening to metallica and i actually LOVE them, they're so beautiful and sometimes i get the weird arm hair raising, chilling music 'tis, ramble over.

As you can see i have no purpose to writing! :D BYEEEE

Obviously not possibly;

I wish the rain would stay a bit more, y'know...because this is the last sports day ever i have to partake in, so...LET IT RAIN PLEASE. The clouds look pretty hefty. My birthday soon :) I get my present like a month early (; LUCKY ME AYE! going down to punktured next week or the after to get superior f' done-smiley. well excited :) todays been so boring. IM BORED. MOAN.

emofag

i dont know why, but i feel lonely, and unloved? LOL
yes i'm a huge attention seeker...nah but seriously i feel like im still searching for something but don't know what and these amazing visions i once had are in the sea, thats fate for you! never stays how you want it to

bluebkahbdhbd

Just woken up really. went to horsham park last night and had a bbq, then got a ticket for underage drinking, the police woman who wrote my ticket was really nice and we were chatting about names, because she said to beccy 'i don't think anyone likes their names' so i said how much i loved mine and she was like LOOL, but i then told her i was joking and yeah, Gave it to my mum when i got home and lied how i was actually innocent, and that we only got it because nick had drink on him, she bought it, i'll confess my sins somewhen.
im in a really iffy mood right now >:

muthafucka.

MMMM, tbh, this weekend is going to be really good. Maybe it'll make me more positive :)

w00op.

This week is going to be a good one me thinks, waxed my legs today wahey, apart from my legs suck, THEY ARE like chicken legs, all wobbly and meaty and chickeny, eat me ;)

Anyway, played with some vanilla condoms yesterday with tam and that, it was so fun (: until it burst but yeah,

The weathers been so hot recently, quite nice i think and my to-do list is progressing! Haircut tomorrow, bought some marshmellow face scrub! and friday night/sat morning is going to be really good :) bbq and drink with some really swish pplz. so yeah, i'm beginning to fulfil my list, for my birthday i'm getting a piercing loool, it's all i want (: and yeah, it's not a noticeable one either (; but i like it.

wANNA knOW someTHING sICK

ahh, MY BROTHER is such a pleb, honestly. His toast got stuck in the toaster, so what did he do? STUCK THE KNIFE INSIDE TO GET IT. AND WHAT HAPPENED?! he electrocuted himself, blew up the toaster and hurt himself bad. jesus. sounds funny but it's not i guess. Actually thinking about it now it kinda' is, but thats because he's not dying i think..good thing is i think it scrambled his mind about because he's buying me an ipod charger thing because i broke mine, odd.

I'm still a goth D: ahahaha, i don't know if i really like my natural colour. but hey ho, atleast i have hair (:

Going back to spain soon, can't wait...first thing i'm going to do is run to the nearest shop with james, buy a rubber dingy and float out to sea- so we can some serious snorkelling! oh, and search for old G fo' shure. Hopefully they sell vanilla cigars out there as they're a tradition when playing cards!

the age i lost my virginity, 43

Dyed my hair today, natural colour, which is pretty much almost black so i look like part of my chemical romance- JOY JOY. Anyway, cousins wedding soon so my dress got altered, but still needs altering. I'm pretty excited, weddings are fun (well the party after) and they've saved for about 5 years so it's going to be HUGE, beats me...why spend so much on getting married? well i wouldn't know seeing as i'm not even near to getting married but still D: doesn't it lose meaning if it's all about the materialistic stuff, good thing though, they get presents too, so i guess they get some of the money back. I'm so sleepy, i'm off...I HAVE ZILCH TOOO SAAAAY

Hippppy

Woah, michael jackson died. I didn't know him or anything but it's still kinda' weird.. The only thing that strikes me is the fact he was pretty much like peterpan, never was going to get old, then he just died? but yeah, he is a legend and his songs and talent, out of this world. :) always in memory. God knows now, every christmas me and my fam sit in a circle drinking and singing songs with pans as drums and stuff, hippys obv' and most of them songs were michaels, so? It just wont be the saaaammmme.

I made some lamb cutlets, was successful thankgod and people said they were really nice, but i can't cook to save my life. I'm sleepy, early night, nothing to say :D